Tuesday, September 14, 2010 3:44 AM

Greetings all from sunny Iraq-

            So there I was… lying in bed, waiting for another indirect fire attack to occur so that I can hug the disgusting floor and pray for my life.  And then I had a vision.  Nay, bigger than a vision, it was an epiphany.  I’ve been in the Air Force for some 7 years now (11 if you count my time in the Colorado Institute for the Socially Stupid), and during that time I have heard stories of drinking, fighting, fornicating, and other sorts of debauchery that have nearly killed me with laughter or just killed me in general. 

This summer I read a pleasant little book called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, which basically is an account of one man’s journey into drinking, fighting, fornicating, and many of the same things that we do (or tell 10% true stories about).  So it occurred to me then, how wonderful would it be if we took some of those stories (Albuquerque, I’m looking right at you) and put them together in a book.  Call sign night stories, deployment and TDY stories, calling strippers at 2 in the morning and nearly being killed stories, all of the tales of woe and wonder that we share with each other during call sign nights, drinking nights, and anytime we are sitting on scope bored because “the war in Iraq is over” and yet here I sit. And in between all of it, we could explain things like the Party Falcon, Jeremiah Weed, Las Vegas ROE, TDY rules, call sign heritage, etc.  Give our adoring public a taste of what their hard earned tax money is fueling.

            So at this point, I’m just looking for a couple of “great idea!”s and “Flix, you’re brilliant!”s from you all.  You know, some encouraging words that this is a plausible idea and that our stories are universally funny, and not just cruel and tragic shenanigans.  And, since I have some 6 months to sit in Operation New Dawn: Peace Is Hell and think about all of this, I’ll try to start putting some stories together to give you all an idea of what I am looking for.  So that sometime soon you all can help me out with your stories.  If, for nothing else, it would make a really great “Exhibit A” in future divorces, or a manuscript of things not to do when you meet a General’s daughter.  Or daughters!

By the way, I think I’ll call the book So There I Was…

Very Respectfully,

Capt Matthew C. Williams

727 EACS/Kingpin SD

Future New York Times Best Selling Author

PS – Pass this e-mail along to anyone you know who might have a funny story to tell!